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Sunday, July 27, 2008

Childbirth Tutorial for husbands...

According to Family Feud, these are the Top 6 things a man might do while his wife is giving birth. 

And according to Dita, which ones Thomas is allowed to do... (words in bold)

1. Faint
2. Pace
3. Coach/hold hand
4. Videotape it
5. Sweat
6. Pray

AND things he
must do...

1. Stay by his wife's side unless she has directed him to go away.
2. Mediate between his wife and the nurse at all times (mediation must be verbatim and include the expression, inflection, and urgency displayed in the wife's own voice)
3. Avoid saying "I wonder what the score is..." (although I don't think there are any sports events at this point that could distract him, other than the Olympics which do begin on August 8, two days before our due date.)
4. Avoid eating in front of the wife until she is cleared to eat as well. (Which means he must remain hungry unless express permission has been granted to leave the room for eating by the mother who is in labor)
5. Hug wife and remain close to her in order to provide a sense of security and protection.
6. Remind wife (when prompted) that a precious baby boy will be in arms very soon.


2 comments:

Mary Beth Spann said...

You forgot the part where Thomas will chant, "Push him out, shove him out, waaay out!" :)

Chrissy said...

He's not allowed to sweat? That's harsh, Dita.

You also forgot to mention that he is not allowed to complain that his feet hurt after standing up next to your bed all day. Oh, I'm sure his feet will hurt, but he's just not allowed to complain about it.