Yes. God did everything he promised in Matthew 6:30. He has provided food, shelter, safety, love, clothes, etc... for my family. He really has blessed us with everything we need. My problem today is this: do I need to be thankful for everything really? What happens if today I am not thankful for something. Something that helps provide for my family yet pulls me from my time with Jrew at the same time. In a day when many people are in search of a good job that will provide for their families, I should be thankful. I teach in a wonderful school, with amazing people! I should be happy right?
Honestly, as I pour out my little heart right now, I am having a hard time saying thanks for all of that. It was a tough day in my heart. The reason? It was just a busy day... filled with many good things for me too. A good day at work with my colleagues, a sweet visit with my friend Deanna as she helped me set up bulletin boards, and a night of worship with some awesome kids we have been privileged to work with at camp. However, the one good thing I missed out on today was meaningful time with my firstborn. I saw him, hugged him, loved on him, and ate dinner with him. Yet, I still had a very hard time letting go of him tonight as I lay him down to sleep. I think he felt the same way. So, we just rocked... for a long time. My sweet darling.
So, right now, I am praying for God to help me be thankful for today; for my job; for the amazing and talented teachers I work with; for the fact that my job is something I love to do; and for the fact that my son was safe with his father today. (who also had a long exhausting day). I must not feel sorry for myself, but instead see and know how much God has truly blessed me. I am thankful. I just needed to remind myself. I also do not want you to pity or feel sorry for me. I think I am doing exactly what God has for me to do right now. I am thankful for that.
"He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God." Psalm 50:23
2 comments:
Oh Dita, you just made me cry! I know it must be so hard for you to go back to school and leave Jrew. You will be in my prayers!
I've been thinking of you and praying for you all week. I know this must be a difficult time for you physically and emotionally. I hope your first week went well.
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